Why I Want a Wife?
by Judy Syfers (1971)
This classic piece of feminist humor appeared in the premier issue of Ms. Magazine and was widely circulated in the women's movement.
To read the article, click on the following link:
http://www.cwluherstory.com/CWLUArchive/wantawife.html
posted by eConnections @ 7:38 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
My God, who wouldn't want a wife?
Everyone wants a wife. To take care of them and their children, to keep track of the appointments, to keep the house clean, to iron, mend, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, to take care of the needs of the guests.
Moreover, she shouldn’t bother her husband with rambling complaints about her wife’s duties and wouldn’t interrupt when the man talks.
What is more, she must be sensitive to her husband’s sexual needs and know that sometimes he needs a night out by himself, because he doesn’t possess strict adherence to monogamy and sometimes wants a change of scene.
But stop it. Do you really think that women want this for themselves? Do they yield to the rule of husband and kids? Do they really give up on themselves so willingly?
No one knows why it turned out the way it did but when a woman gets married she founds that she is becoming not she, but someone’s wife, who has much to do with helping the husband become himself and less to do with becoming herself. Seems like the wife's needs and life and career turn to be a secondary consideration.
You could disagree and say that there are lots of happy marriages where the man is pulling his weight at home in terms of laundry, cooking, childcare. Fine. But don't give that old argument that a man does the big work and earns all the money so it only makes sense that he shouldn't have to do any work at home.
A woman is not a cook, waitress, laundress, cleaner, secretary and a rubber sex-woman in one face. She is not really into that kind of things. She also has the right.
So, maybe it makes sense to substitute the word ”wife” for the word “partner”. Because, oh my God, who would want to be a wife?
K.S.
In Judy Syfers’ essay " Why I Want A Wife" she introduces to an unmarried woman what married life is all about and raises consciousness of the subordinate role a woman will take after marriage.She exposes the meaning of "wife" presently in our society.
Her point is that hat all wives are completely devoted to their husbands and are willing to tend to all their needs and satisfy them completely while working, being a good mother, and remaining gorgeous.Which seems to me to be a complete farce.
The author mocks the situations and obligations wives find themselves immersed in.
I find the text interesting and ironic but true to life. Not everything is clearly centered around the needs and demands of a man, of what HE wants and expects from a wife. It looks as if he does not want a wife but wants an unpaid servant.
A Marriage is supposed to work both ways with each individual helping the other in the day to day life. And it should not be centered on just the husbands or a wife's needs only. It is not just the wife's duty to take care of everything, she also expects the same care, respect and love in return. What if the roles were reversed and the wife demanded the same thing the man was saying. What then? Would the marriage work?
Dash.K
I did like the text, though in my opinion it’s exaggerated! No one can force another person do stuff!!! I strongly believe that nobody but we ourselves are guilty in the majority of our problems! In the article women appear to be powerless victims; and I guess this is the exact picture that the author meant to create. However I consider such kind of a perception of women not only wrongful but extremely humiliating! Of course certain gender stereotypes have deep roots especially in Eastern European and Post-Soviet cultures. Gender inequality creates numerous problems starting with home violence and encompassing such global problems as trafficking in women. The status and roles of women have been on the top of the agenda of such international organizations as Council of Europe and the UN. These issues are being revised and talked about for the period of last 5 years more than ever before.
Cleaning, doing laundry, ironing, mowing the lawn, mopping, taking care of children, husband, creation of loving hospitable atmosphere at home, grocery shopping are normal responsibilities of PEOPLE of both genders!!!! However if a wife enjoys taking these responsibilities as exclusively hers, no one can consider her weaker than any other kind of women or men…. I strongly disagree with the author…In contemporary society (especially in Western Europe and the States) women do have opportunity not to get into so-called gender slavery…. We all have a choice! I also don’t consider responsibilities listed below to be humiliating or weakening what so ever! It’s a choice of a strong woman… who is able to give up her personal interests for the sake of a family. Summing up I have to underline the point that I don’t for a second doubt that gender inequality is a reality we are facing… I simply DO believe that now we (the women) have opportunities to live the lives we really want to live!
There is no doubts however that we have to put efforts into combat with stereotypes, gender, social, economic inequalities and promotion of freedom, morality, family values and respect to each other.
P.S. by the way….the text is humiliating the guys as well...we know you’ll never act in such a rude, selfish way!))))))))) YOU ARE COOL))) Don’t believe radical feminists! Be loving and attentive! Chare the responsibilities and do everything possible to do in order to make her (THE! One) happy))
MT
what the hell K.S. and Dash-K are talking about?? women iz all about cooking, cleaning, laundring, sexin and etc! that's it, girls.
Hey Girls!
To improve your ideas about feminism I do highly recommend you an excellent comedy “New Amazons”, rather old (Poland, 1984) but, I guess, still up to date.
The idea of the film is that as a result of a worldwide collapse all the men disappeared and the feminist movement won. All the statesmen, policemen and even american football players(!) were women. The state ideology was “masculine is your enemy!”
But unexpectedly 2 men, who had been frozen for 20 years in cryogen cell (as a result of scientific experiment) awoke and found themselves in “lady’s kingdom” where no one knew about the “natural” way of making children...
M.S.
Hey Girls!
To improve your ideas about feminism I do highly recommend you an excellent comedy “New Amazons”, rather old (Poland, 1984) but, I guess, still up to date.
The idea of the film is that as a result of a worldwide collapse all the men disappeared and the feminist movement won. All the statesmen, policemen and even american football players(!) were women. The state ideology was “masculine is your enemy!”
But unexpectedly 2 men, who had been frozen for 20 years in cryogen cell (as a result of scientific experiment) awoke and found themselves in “lady’s kingdom” where …no one knew about the “natural” way of making children!
M.Sh.
After reading this story a couple of times i have a feeling that the author would like to have not a wife but a slave. I agree with MT, who said that the author exaggerates the real condition of things. (hugs and kisses to MT:)) For instance, Judy Syfers claims all the house jobs to be the absolute wife's prerogative. It's okay, maybe in some families, in some cultures this is a true situation. Due to the traditional background of one taken culture, women may have limited rights in comparison with men (muslim culture) but again, this very story has nothing to do with either religious or cultural aspects. Sounds like a cranky feminst woman has loads of problems and she is tired of family life, whatever, she decided the men (her husband?) to be responsible for all her troubles. Or maybe the author wasn't really lucky and chose the wrong man to live with, and now she thinks that all men are just complete beasts. I don't know the answer, and basically i find this topic to boring to discuss. I'm fed up with all this feminist things (complete bullshit) and that's it.
Anyway, the text is dated 1971, and today it's 2006, and it seems that mrs. Syfers is not a young lady anymore. I mean, she is much more clever today. And bet she has a husband and she is really happy for this reason.
Hector Garcia Coronez, Tijuana cop.
I've read this story patiently(I said patiently,because one needs a good deal of patience to read a story of such an unhappy with her life lady,that has nothing but radical feministic outprisks of emotions,and that is blinded with her hatred towards men).I won't comment on all expressions of this woman,I'd just like to say that the person who wrote this,has issues.We live in the 20-21 centuries,clearly the author is describing events of the middle ages:).I totally agree with MT and officer Coronez of the Tijuana cop division,and would like to add from myself that any human being was created in such a way that he or she would never do something against their will,going against your will is solely your descision in the end,and if you're a wife, only you choose whether to quietly cope withe all the house chores and have your career as a second priority or to make a stand for yourself and do something for yourself
I've read this story patiently(I said patiently,because one needs a good deal of patience to read a story of such an unhappy with her life lady,that has nothing but radical feministic outprisks of emotions,and that is blinded with her hatred towards men).I won't comment on all expressions of this woman,I'd just like to say that the person who wrote this,has issues.We live in the 20-21 centuries,clearly the author is describing events of the middle ages:).I totally agree with MT and officer Coronez of the Tijuana cop division,and would like to add from myself that any human being was created in such a way that he or she would never do something against their will,going against your will is solely your descision in the end,and if you're a wife, only you choose whether to quietly cope withe all the house chores and have your career as a second priority or to make a stand for yourself and do something for yourself.
Officer I.Kurd Tijuana cop division
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